How to Tune out the Workplace Buzz…zz…zzers

“You know how it is sometimes; same old boring day at the office, with absolutely no personal goals to be met and heard. Nevertheless, one has to go through enough hurdles to be able to meet those high targets to sustain at the office. And there comes this guy, this bull-y type of guy who has dropped (dead) in this world for ruining and troubling the lives of the masses for apparently one reason – “Massacre” (at the workplace). This guy not only spoils the mood but brings down the rhythm of the whole office.

How many times have you been unlucky to get into an argument – if not an altercation – with this kinda co-worker? How many times have you had to cope up with the wrath of some utter nonsense for absolutely no damned reason? It isn’t a pretty sight, isn’t it? No one likes to get shouted at for no reason let alone for a genuine one! So, how to manage this rampant bull smartly?”

1. Never ever shout back – Rise in voice is directly proportional to rise in anger; as soon as you lose your cool in front of the cold-hearted, irrational office freak – whose only duty is to make your life a living hell – Remember that you would have then already lost the conversation. Maintaining discipline is utmost important. Behaving sanely in front of the raging bull may not seem helpful to you at that moment, but may prove to be quite helpful in the long run.

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2. Presenting viable facts – You know how a lawyer wins his case, right? Evidence, yes! If you have in your possession, the correct facts, then the deranged monster would never be able to justify his meaningless act, giving you an unprecedented advantage over his immoral and useless shouting. This way, you would always be able to find yourself safe from any future incidents as your nut case would then be more wary of your previous actions and would try and keep away from you as much as possible.

3. Keeping quiet – This is quite an unusual way of presenting yourself as completely innocent but works, so, who cares? Whenever your stupid junkie starts shouting at you for apparently no reason, just keep mum and let him continue with the unnecessary screaming and swearing; this way, he would not only be taken by surprise, nevertheless be subjected to self-reflect, leaving him in a space where he will have to decide between what is right and what is not, making you the unlikely hero.

4. Never try to defend yourself – Trying to defend yourself in a fight may seem like a pretty good option, however, that isn’t always the case with arguments. When in a quarrel with someone, defending yourself may seem like trying to hide the guilt of doing something wrong. Yes! It may seem odd, but it’s a fact that such cases make yourself seem like the guilty one who’s possibly done something wrong and is now trying to defend himself like a coward instead of admitting his mistake like a bold gentleman.

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5. Listen intently while never ignoring that person – Honestly speaking, ignoring someone shouting at you for apparently no reason may seem like a lucrative offer, however, doing something of that sort in real life turns out be totally different than theory. This may actually angry the monster even more than he already was, making him shout or do things that would be not to your liking, certainly. What you must do is, always listen carefully and figure out why he is shouting at you in the first place so that you can understand him better, and if possible, clear your name later, when the quarrel is over.

6. Keep Calm – We know how it feels to be shouted at by someone and it is not a good one to be honest. And picking up a vase or a chair or something and whacking it on the culprit’s head is sadly, not the correct option. The thing that you should rather do is to follow a simple approach; keep calm and let the world speak bullsh*t and don’t give a damn about it! This may seem like a preposterous idea and the one to likely throw you away but looking from the psychological or practical side in this case, one can assume that it would be your best bet. Not minding about others’ opinions, not only keeps your cool but also makes the culprit – considering him sensible – realize his/her mistake, sooner or later making you my friend, a stalwart. (Now, don’t get too high!)

7. Let it go! (Not the film song, da!) – Holding on to something may seem like a nice idea, but holding too long may not suffice; sure, it is your right and stuff but your right may be someone else’s left (don’t get too confused, now! Feel the impulse!). If you feel that you aren’t able to sustain yourself or your point, just feel free to let go. The manager/co-employee may think he/she has won the battle, but remember my friend, the war is still on! No matter how hard they try to pull you down, you must stand tall and take it all in good spirit and fight back as such. Let it all go and don’t be afraid anymore!

8. Turn off the Hulk mode – Who doesn’t like the green, bulky hulk when he is on a rampage!? In movies, it’s a yay yay! In real life, no no! No one, absolutely no one would like to meet the hulk! But, sadly, in some cases, we are able to witness some either near us in the name of co-workers or sometimes, even ourselves. Co-worker, one can control but when the inner demon is out, it’s hard to resist and damn near impossible to control! So, it is best to take deep breaths and count till ten rather than toasting someone else! Your “good” day might turn into someone’s last day in an instant! After all, Bruce Banner might be angry all the time but he knows his shit! Phew!

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9. Never utter, “What did I do?” – Never ever; remember that. Why? This may lead on to World War III, for God’s sake! Asking someone who’s angry on you for God knows what reason, that reason itself, not only set the boat on fire but drowns it as well! It acts like the final nail in the coffin and you are bound to lie in the wilderness, never to return, for sure; forget about sympathy! The best way is to simply listen to the person and when he has let all his anger out, say a humble sorry and leave; never try and mutter stuff and avoid talking around their back. Wait for the right time, and the opportunity will arise for you to come out from your grave and back to a fulfilling life again. Patience is the key, no matter how difficult it may seem.

10. Never try to run away – I know you think you are Usain Bolt when it comes to running away from troubles; but believe me, it isn’t going to help. You can’t outrun the bull, right? Face your troubles right in the face and you’ll never have to run again. I know running away seems like a lucrative deal, something like “Buy 1, get 4 Free!” and stuff like that but the fact is, that the “Free” tag just creates an illusion and we, as humble citizens of the world, fall into it, just as likely. Same applies in real life; you may want to run away thinking you’ll think about it later, but once you do so, there’s only resentment. Be careful what you fish for!

These were some simple techniques one could apply in times of distress. With these points in mind most of us can tackle the wild beasts in a more efficient and productive manner. With this, I reach to the end of the article. I hope it would suffice and work accordingly. We could be heroes; not if we want to be one but only if we deserve to be one!

How did YOU deal with the office screamer?

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