Love is the basic human need. We all want appreciation, acceptance and attention. Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge lies in maintaining and nurturing a relationship. It takes trust, loyalty, understanding, patience and a genuine will, to be together. When two people decide to spend their lives together, there are bound to be misunderstandings and arguments. It is a part of living together and knowing and understanding each other.
However, there are times when a relationship goes beyond repair and we can sense that in spite of all the efforts it cannot be saved. But this is something which is not easy for people to accept. They don’t want to let it go and procrastinate and cling on to an already dead relationship. This doesn’t really help as things get worse and suffering increases.
When you see and feel that things are not working out, then you should know it’s the right time to break up. The following are the signs which will tell you it’s time to bring an end to a painful relationship–
1. No communication – Communication is the key for any relationship to thrive and grow. It’s the foundation on which all strong and long lasting relationships are built. We all want to be heard and talked to. If you observe that off lately your partner is consistently not talking to you or ignoring your questions or not replying to your messages, then take it as a sign that something is wrong. Lack of communication can mean so many things – loss of interest, infidelity etc.
2. ON OFF Mode – See if there are regular breakups and patch-ups in your relationship. A true loving partner should be loving you all the time.
3. Forcefully staying in the relation – If you are in the relationship only because you don’t want to hurt your partner, then its time to move out. Deep down you know that you are not doing any favor to this person by staying in the relationship. It is better to express the feelings and move out.
4. Playing a spy – Trust is very crucial for any relationship to last. It is said that if you are playing a spy on your partner, it’s time to move on. If you don’t trust the other person and always have doubts in your mind about his intentions, motives, etc., then it means there is total loss of trust. Staying in such a relationship would only bring suffering.
5. No fun time together – In the beginning of any relationship people tend to spend lots of time together. They look forward to the opportunities to be together and do things which they both like. Going out for movies, long drives, vacations, etc., bring you closer as you spend time and enjoy each others’ company. But if you feel that now you both no longer spend time together and somehow have stopped enjoying each others’ company then it’s a clear indication that all is not well.
6. Different values and aspirations – Everyone has a particular set of values and aspirations in life. It is very important that you share these with your partner. But if you feel that there is a drastic difference in the way you see your life, your values and philosophy, then its may be time to reconsider your relationship.
7. Embarrassing – If you feel embarrass to introduce your partner to your friends and family. This is very very important. You should be proud of your partner. If that is not the case, it is may be time to move out of the relationship.
8. There is no respect – You and your partner should have respect for each other. If your partner doesn’t value your thoughts, tends to verbally annoy you and makes irrelevant judgement about you even for a minutest mistake, these are signs to take a decision. Also, the respect has to be from both ends. If there is no veneration from either of the sides, its time to move out.
9. You are the one who initiate to be intimate – Note if you are one who initiate to be intimate every time and your partner doesn’t reciprocate well to it. It is true that he/she may feel shy or may be a laid back person but ponder if this is the only reason behind. Try to share your fantasies with your partner and sense out reactions. If you do not get signs of interest, its an indication that you should move out.
10. Note the rate of speed – Notice if everything is moving too fast. For instance, the partner is driving the relationship as per his choice and speed, not giving you enough time to even realize the changes the relationship is going through. Every relationship should be given time and should be given enough space to let it grow gradually. This may be a sign of something odd which the partner may be hiding from you.
11. No future – See if there are no future planning. If both of you have been into the relationship for longer time and neither of you is initiating future talk, its time to think about moving out.
12. There are secrets – If both of you or either of you are hiding a lot of things from each other. Keeping secrets can be a big problem. Any form of secret, even if it is not cheating is a sign of red flag.
13. Wandering eyes – It is ok and natural to admire people. But if you or your partner has this habit of checking out others, it is a sign that he/she does not find you that charming. Sometimes the other partner may be kidding with you to make you jealous. However, you should be smart enough to judge the behaviours.
14. You become a different person – If you are somebody else when you are with him, then it is not the right relationship. You can’t be 2 different people on and off. With your partner, you should be the real you.
Moving out may be the most painful and heartbreaking experience, but it is always better than to stay in a loveless relationship. Life always gives us a second chance. So don’t be scared and let it go.