There’s caring and then there’s overbearing. The difference could probably make or break your game. It can get a little tough to draw lines and maintain boundaries after a point, but you have to let the other person breathe; otherwise, sooner than later, it’s all going to come crashing down.
1. Put a hold on those stalker instincts – In the beginning, it’s all cute and sweet and when they seem to be interested in you, you go all “aww”, but after a while, it gets annoying. Everything has a limit and that includes the number of questions you ask! If you don’t like being asked, then stop asking. You don’t always need to know where your partner is, what they are doing, when they will be meeting you or what they are eating, when and where!!!
2. Don’t you fear, my dear – Caring about them and ensuring that they are safe is all fine, but getting too insecure and possessive might lead your partner to start lying to you. Why? Because they fear how you will react to a certain situation! Of course, they want only your certain “sweet” reactions to everything.
3. Blocked and locked – Social media and micro blogging has made everything accessible. It is easy to get information, but just as easy to block – so stop keeping a check on who likes her pictures. You know, she is pretty, so chances are people will definitely find her pretty. Keep it low or else she’s going to tweak her privacy settings.
4. Hey there, is s/he with you? Stop checking up on them – if they don’t answer their phone it’s probably cause they’re busy – they will call you back later- let them enjoy the other parts of their life. Just because they’re in a relationship with you doesn’t mean they’re tied down to you. You have to give them space or you’re going to wind up having dinner alone every Saturday night.
5. Talking doesn’t equal flirting – There is bound to be some excitement when we meet someone new. Everyone has a right to meet new people and have social life, to experience other people’s nature. Even just as a friend – two people can be friends without having anything else – Stop assuming, accusing—they have every right to talk to people of opposite sex. And if you don’t stop, it’s just going to push your partner away.
6. Remember that thing called ‘privacy’? Her phones her texts, his phones his conversations – Draw the line, stop checking. They have other areas to their lives and they’ll have to talk to other people about it. You don’t always have to know about it! Give them their privacy or else it will cause your relationship to suffocate as you’re gagging on that very same phone.
7. It’s not always about ‘us’ – You have to respect individuality- let the other person have their own life. They have every right to do whatever they want all by themselves or with their friends. Respect their ‘own space’ of being by themselves alone or it’ll be you who will face the consequences. After all, you still want them to be interesting and want to decode that wire of mystery right? Or you want to know them like the back of your hand and get bored eventually?
8. Get your shit together, drama queen – Making mountains out of molehills is just NOT done. They’re not obliged to handle your tantrums when they’re out chilling with friends or talking to someone of the opposite gender. They respect a fine line in the relationship in a logical way and so should you. By turning every small action into a deep seated insecurity issue simply states how weak you are as a person and your trust issues is not going to help anything. In addition, neither does crying nor does fighting over small things helps.
9. Pause the swing on those moods – Stop being moody, it does not help. You have to understand things and situations. Your reactions towards your partner should be according to the situations and not according to your feelings. You don’t have to get all angry and hyper regarding little situations. If you are doing that then you are only contributing to the negativity in the relation.
10. What are you, Rapunzel? You do NOT have to tell them about every minute of your day. Get out, live free. Your life is yours alone and you have to understand that you are the most important person in your life. Learn to enjoy your own company and let them simply be.
Of course we all want to spend all the time in the world with the ones we love and I’m not saying I know what love is, but I know it’s definitely not getting obsessed.