Arranged marriages are sort of like blind dates that your parents set up for you with the approval of your entire family extended up to your uncle’s great aunt’s cousin who has never even seen you in person. And then you have babies with your partner to please all these people who supposedly have the immense wisdom required to decide upon the matter of whom you will spend the rest of your life with. Then you play house with this almost stranger and do all the proper things a married couple in the East is required to do. Except, it’s not just a blind date, and it’s not just a game. It’s quite a weird concept for the West to digest, but all in all, it has its perks too.
1. Wait, what? My dad’s going to tell me whom to date now? It is a well established fact in the West that the parental seal of approval is not an end-of-the-world issue. And most parents don’t mind their kids dating as long as the person isn’t harming their child.
But back in the East, your parents’ choice, your uncle’s choice, your grandma’s choice, your next door neighbor’ dog’s choice, everything has to be taken into consideration.
2. It’s my life! The whole concept of fixing up “relationships” comes as somewhat of a surprise to the West since they’ve grown up making their own decisions whether it is their relationship or the classes they’re taking at the university.
Even just dating, someone their parents have selected for them is a foreign concept, forget marriage. But what they sometimes tend to forget here is, it’s not all that bad. Not every case of arranged marriage is forced. Many do it willingly and end up living a pretty great life.3. But, how can you spend your life with someone you don’t even know! It doesn’t happen overnight. The concept of arranged marriages is slowly changing and catching up to modern times. It’s definitely weird if you’re supposed to meet someone with a cloth hanging over your face, talk to them in front of everyone you’re related to and decide in 5 minutes whether you want to see them every day for the rest of your life or not. But…but…but, this is not always the case. Families are becoming more liberal and they give the two heads some question time to get to know each other and then come to a decision. Awkward eye contact does flourish into passionate love many a times in these kinds of marriages.
4. So, do you do the deed or stare at each other all night long? And then there’s the biggest elephant in the room, how do you make love to this person you just exchanged rings with but don’t even know? So firstly, get with the century. This barely happens anymore. It’s not necessary to have sex on the wedding night. Secondly, haven’t you ever gone to a bar and picked up a chick and taken her home and fucked her brains out and suddenly realized that you don’t even remember her name?
5. Where’s the fun if it’s all set up? I’m not going to deny the thrill of meeting someone new at the park or asking out that cute colleague, but then again, the security that these arranged marriages bring are perhaps good for our system.
Imagine all that time that you spend thinking about whether or not that guy is going to call you back; you can spend that time dreaming about him in bed later that night.
6. But there’s nothing without the chase! Westerners might think it’s quite absurd and boring to be in such a place but when you really think about it, isn’t stability one of the most important things you look for in a marriage? Besides, there are a lot of things you can do to spice it up if you’re missing the chase, if you know your way around.
7. Can you even call that love? You love the person not the circumstance, right? It’s definitely a whole lot of work at first, all new dynamics and things, but more often than not, the couple really does fall for each other. And of course you can call it love. You look out for each other, snuggle and do love-y dove-y things, yeah, its love alright. Doesn’t really matter how that happens.
8. What if he/she isn’t the one? You don’t even know what’s out there! Well, there are a billion people out there out of which you’d fall in love with around a thousand if you met them; but that are the things, you aren’t going to. The odds are just not in your favour. The same can be said about love marriages too, so this one is kind of an invalid argument.
9. Are they even being real? A valid concern! Many a times, people pretend to be something they are not before marriage and things just go downhill once the vows are said. Wait a second though; this isn’t really a drawback only in the case of an arranged marriage. It could happen to anybody. I don’t know man, marriage changes people apparently.
10. Does this actually happen? Yes of course it does. And it’s not that terrifying. The changing views have made the concept flexible too. The people getting married have usually known each other for a long time through mutual friends or other social connections. They do it out of choice. (Imagine that)
So perhaps, it’s not the worst thing after all. And especially in a world where people change love interests like they’re changing clothes; these modern arranged marriages might actually be a great concept to embrace.
If you want to go find your own “the one,” that’s your choice, but if you get a little extra help, that’s okay too. Or you know, to hell with marriage, go pack a bag and get on a bus.